It’s been an interesting weekend.
(Photo from 01.31.13)
It always looks like I have it.
This would be a really different blog-home if I started reblogging things.
Every once in a while, I get this weird feeling and I just got it now. It pretty much describes where I am. I don’t know if I am happy, even though I laugh everyday. I’ve been anxious for so long, my mind tries to find things to be scared of. I worry that when I’m happy, it won’t be long before something happens that will fuck it all up. I’m worried there will never be something better than the middle. All in a split second.
Writing on a Friday night. (new songs)
let’s see where this goes.
Bring it on.
I’m up for it.
I could live here forever. (VII)
this time, it’s on my own (bottom left)
I think being sick has given me a (somewhat underwhelming) epiphany. In life, and other aspects of it, I am in the middle. That could be why I feel so fucked up.
I’ve been thinking about mundane life for a while. In a few ways, I think certain aspects of my existence are mundane. Also some aspects are mundane, but predictable. I can’t tell whether I want a (controllable) mundane existence or the opposite.
For a while, I has the the thought my being sick was my body trying to get away from the mundane for a while.
It’s just the fact that for a while, I felt my life is ridiculously mundane. Another part of me says it’s fine. Right in the middle.